Hey Revolutionists,
It has been a hard day for me and no matter how I try to dodge the truth it keeps slapping me right in the face. I just read a comment from the last post that I made and it made me feel some type of way. The words stung like alcohol being poured on an open wound. Point blank, shit hurts when people tell me what I need to hear but don't really want to hear.
Let me get started on this topic, I am in this situation right and I keep trying to use the same tactics thinking that it is going to result in some type of change. I try to use the old I am leaving you and cutting you off, which at this point of 100+ times carries no more weight. Or i try to use the good old give him a cry but instead it only makes me look even more weak. Or finally I try to do the old hit up the girl and reason it out with her when really she probably wants to kill me and have nothing to do with me.
I am sure that many of you has tried either one of those so called tactics or all three and I am sure you have come to realize that it changes nothing and in the end you feel like you are going crazy.
If you are in a relationship and whenever you have any form of communication with this person you feel like they are driving you crazy or you are alwayyyyys paranoid or you just completely lose yourself its time to consider other options. I know that I am in this situation but I ignored a lot of red flags in the beginning.
I just want women to know that there are warning signs and we do have that female intuition that lets us know something isn't right. I DEF had it in the beginning and I ignored it and it cost me in the end. I am just here trying to prevent something that can cost a lot of women pain they do not need to endure.
I love you guys and I guess some of youll using tough love with me.
Join me on this journey to self discovery...
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
when enough is enough...we still want more
Hey Revolutionists,
I'm getting sloppy and kind of lazy, how am i suppose to complete a journey if i keep making all these pit stops and detours. ANYWAY its been kinda iffy with the writing because I've just been going through so much.
What inspired the topic?...my coworkers today, I told them about my situation and they put me ON BLAST. I was like damn, this feeling just isn't good. Well anyway one of the main things we discussed was that enough was enough and I needed to get out of this situation. But my brain just registered that i seemed to want more of it.
We all know I am not perfect and being with someone for two years who has also been with someone else sounds like an effed up situation but I don't see how I can make anyone understand. The best way I can describe it as trying to look through a car with 100% tinted windows, you keep trying to look at whats going on inside so you just make assumptions and come to your own conclusion when the only ppl who know whats going on is the people inside the car.
That is the best possible way I could have described it, like I said I am not perfect. I could wake up tomorrow morning and decide I have had enough or it could be next year. Like I said this is a journey I only have clues about where I need to be, no map no GPS, so I am taking things one day at a time.
If you are in similar situations just know that when u have had enough and you get some more, there is going to be a point where it will be beyond your control to take anymore and you will get out of that situation. SO stick it out with me, you help me ill help you..keep reading because I'm going to keep writing until i finally know where I am going and X marks the spot.
I'm getting sloppy and kind of lazy, how am i suppose to complete a journey if i keep making all these pit stops and detours. ANYWAY its been kinda iffy with the writing because I've just been going through so much.
What inspired the topic?...my coworkers today, I told them about my situation and they put me ON BLAST. I was like damn, this feeling just isn't good. Well anyway one of the main things we discussed was that enough was enough and I needed to get out of this situation. But my brain just registered that i seemed to want more of it.
We all know I am not perfect and being with someone for two years who has also been with someone else sounds like an effed up situation but I don't see how I can make anyone understand. The best way I can describe it as trying to look through a car with 100% tinted windows, you keep trying to look at whats going on inside so you just make assumptions and come to your own conclusion when the only ppl who know whats going on is the people inside the car.
That is the best possible way I could have described it, like I said I am not perfect. I could wake up tomorrow morning and decide I have had enough or it could be next year. Like I said this is a journey I only have clues about where I need to be, no map no GPS, so I am taking things one day at a time.
If you are in similar situations just know that when u have had enough and you get some more, there is going to be a point where it will be beyond your control to take anymore and you will get out of that situation. SO stick it out with me, you help me ill help you..keep reading because I'm going to keep writing until i finally know where I am going and X marks the spot.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wanna make God laugh..tell him your plans
Hey revolutionists,
It has been a minute and I feel horrible for the lack of communication but I really have been dealing with a lot.
#1 I GOT A JOB, BEEN WORKING FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS..you'll know that was the biggest thing stressing me out.
But on to more important things, the title.
Have you ever wondered that maybe the thing you are fighting for with all your might just isn't meant to be?
Or that relationship that you cant understand why after all you do you still cant make it work?
MAYBE THAT JUST NOT IN THE PLANS GOD HAS FOR YOU!
Think about it, I know at one point or another you have probably wondered why you didn't get that job after the interview went so well or even why that coach didn't sign you when he seemed so interested.
Well you'll know me i don't hide anything so I am trying to figure out am i going to be the fool or the exception, is it even in the plans for me and "the situation" to be together. i see what his motives are, i know what he wants to accomplish but he wants me to wait. Is it really meant to be or would I have wasted two years of my life fighting a losing battle.
You know what though one of my friends told me that I need to control the controllables, I know that God has destined me to use my pain to help others. So while that situation pans out I am going to concentrate and focus on what matters...helping others and inspiring others through my words.
That's what you have to do, if you find yourself in a situation you are unsure about, gear your energy towards something you are passionate about and you wouldn't believe where that distraction will lead you!
My next move is to start working for a non profit so that I can network and create my own one day. If people all around you is doing what they need to make it..whats the hold up in your life?
It has been a minute and I feel horrible for the lack of communication but I really have been dealing with a lot.
#1 I GOT A JOB, BEEN WORKING FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS..you'll know that was the biggest thing stressing me out.
But on to more important things, the title.
Have you ever wondered that maybe the thing you are fighting for with all your might just isn't meant to be?
Or that relationship that you cant understand why after all you do you still cant make it work?
MAYBE THAT JUST NOT IN THE PLANS GOD HAS FOR YOU!
Think about it, I know at one point or another you have probably wondered why you didn't get that job after the interview went so well or even why that coach didn't sign you when he seemed so interested.
Well you'll know me i don't hide anything so I am trying to figure out am i going to be the fool or the exception, is it even in the plans for me and "the situation" to be together. i see what his motives are, i know what he wants to accomplish but he wants me to wait. Is it really meant to be or would I have wasted two years of my life fighting a losing battle.
You know what though one of my friends told me that I need to control the controllables, I know that God has destined me to use my pain to help others. So while that situation pans out I am going to concentrate and focus on what matters...helping others and inspiring others through my words.
That's what you have to do, if you find yourself in a situation you are unsure about, gear your energy towards something you are passionate about and you wouldn't believe where that distraction will lead you!
My next move is to start working for a non profit so that I can network and create my own one day. If people all around you is doing what they need to make it..whats the hold up in your life?
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